Different Perspective

Luke and I are lucky enough to celebrate 3 years together on Saturday.

While discussing this with a friend the other day, she commented that we must be really special to have lasted 3 years.

I went away and thought about it - and I've come to the conclusion that we're not even a little bit special, and in fact, it's our total utter ordinariness (is that a word?) that has kept us together.

Luke and I haven't really had the fireworks - we started our relationship, and two weeks later, he started his business and spent a lot of time there. The first two weeks were amazing, there were butterflies in my stomach every day and every time I saw him my heart jumped into my throat and I thought "wow". But then his business started, and he worked 18 hour days, 6 days a week, so he was tired, and stressed and etc etc. Don't get me wrong - I still look at him and go "wow" and I still get butterflies, but everything changed in a major way, before I was ready for it to change.

BUT he made the effort to spend every night sleeping next to me, right from the beginning, no matter how tired he was. He made an effort to listen to me when I missed him and got angry. And when I was upset that he was working so hard and we were missing out on a normal relationship, he'd wait til I calmed down and he'd outline why he was working so hard - because he could see himself doing well, that he could see a future with me, and he wanted to do retire early and work hard now so he didn't have to work hard when he was ready to have kids.

In the same way, when he was dog tired and disheartened, I would wash his clothes, cook him a proper dinner and always make sure there was enough chocolate in the house to keep him going. I'd give him advice on his employees and business decisions, while I'm no expert, I'd like to think that my view from the outside helped. I would come with him when he had to work on Sundays and hand him screwdrivers on jobs, or do his filing in the office, and just be there so he wouldnt have to worry about me at home. After 6 months, I made Sundays a mandatory day off to spend together - some Sundays we just watch movies on the couch, but it really helped us grow.

When I tell people how Luke and I started out together, they often say that it must have been a hard time. It was hard, and sometimes I look at his friends and their girlfriends and think "why can't he be like them - they're so happy together, and they only have to work 9 to 5". But on the other hand, I think it strengthened us - we got through it, and I think we can get through just about anything. I dont think I'm so fabulous for sticking by him, and I don't think he's so great for taking a risk on a business - I think finding Luke was a blessing, and that you cant choose the timing of your blessings.

I think that love works when you have common goals you're both working towards, and you focus on the little ordinary things - sharing a meal together, catching each others eye when you're out and smiling, catching the other looking besottedly at you when you're driving in the car.

Well at least I hope so.