Nice Guys Finish Last

I'm having a tough time at work at the moment.

I can't work out an event leading to my general state of being pissed off, but everyone is copping my wrath.

One of the reasons I left my old job was because I was consistently left out of the action. It's important to me that I know what's going on with my team in order for me to do my job properly. There are 5 people in my team, and 2 of them are in communications. The seating arrangement doesn't help. My boss and the 2 communication-ers are sitting together, and me and the PA are kinda on our own a little bit away. So if something's going on, he'll often tell them about it first, and if they are talking about something I have to be involved in, I have to get up, walk about 10 metres, and then try and pick up what is being said after missing most of the conversation. There have been a few incidents where something is going on (good and bad) and they've taken off and handled it and I've just been sitting at my desk doing my normal work cos I haven't been involved in it.

Another issue is that Senior Management tend to perceive the junior communicationer as superior to me - when in fact I am in the same level as her boss. They perceive it that way because she is older than me, and in fact there are a number of times where I have been mistaken for the boss's PA and been asked to organise a meeting etc. I have quickly corrected them, but the general attitude around here seems to be that if you're young, you must be in administration.

People at work always comment that I'm smiling and happy, and a few people have noticed today that "I'm not myself". It just feels like I AM always putting on a nice face and it doesn't get me anywhere. Nobody does it for me, even when I need it really really really badly. I'm always going out of my way to help other people and they don't treat me the same way. So why should I bother?

I guess I just need to learn that nice guys finish last, and I shouldn't bother with the "never too much trouble" attitude.

So here's to looking after number 1 (me) for the next few days. I'm sure it will make me feel better, and hopefully everyone else in my team will notice the difference.